Heal: Five Minute Friday

It's probably been two good years since I joined the Five Minute Friday linkup, but the invitation to spend five minutes writing on the word "Heal" without edits was a welcome chance to immerse myself in community. Here's the linkup for Five Minute Friday: Heal.

 Heal. Heel. 

"I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.” Genesis 3:15

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10

"And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear. But Jesus answered, “No more of this!” And He touched the man’s ear and healed him." Luke 22:50-51

Conceal. Don't feel. Don't let them in, don't let them see.

Healing hurts.

Crying hurts.

Sadness is too sad.

It's easier to pretend not to feel.

It's easier to remain numb, callous, unfeeling, uncaring, shell shocked.

It hurts to sit and feel and mourn and grieve.

Everything that we couldn't control.

Every way we felt controlled by uncontrollable forces.

Everything we lost.

We want Jesus to answer, "No more of this!"

We cry out, "No more of this!"

Is He silent?

Is He good?

Where is He when life is not good?

Is God Sovreign?

We read Job.

That was not good.

Job did not do anything to deserve it.

God never told him "why".

But we are allowed to ask.

When I was in despair, a sweet small voice on the radio said "Salmo siete uno catorce."

Psalm 71

¹ In you, Lord, I have taken refuge;
    let me never be put to shame.
² In your righteousness, rescue me and deliver me;
    turn your ear to me and save me.
³ Be my rock of refuge,
    to which I can always go;
give the command to save me,
    for you are my rock and my fortress.
⁴ Deliver me, my God, from the hand of the wicked,
    from the grasp of those who are evil and cruel.

⁵ For you have been my hope, Sovereign Lord,
    my confidence since my youth.
⁶ From birth I have relied on you;
    you brought me forth from my mother’s womb.
    I will ever praise you.
⁷ I have become a sign to many;
    you are my strong refuge.
⁸ My mouth is filled with your praise,
    declaring your splendor all day long.

⁹ Do not cast me away when I am old;
    do not forsake me when my strength is gone.
¹⁰ For my enemies speak against me;
    those who wait to kill me conspire together.
¹¹ They say, “God has forsaken him;
    pursue him and seize him,
    for no one will rescue him.”
¹² Do not be far from me, my God;
    come quickly, God, to help me.
¹³ May my accusers perish in shame;
    may those who want to harm me
    be covered with scorn and disgrace.

¹⁴ As for me, I will always have hope;
    I will praise you more and more.

¹⁵ My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds,
    of your saving acts all day long—
    though I know not how to relate them all.
¹⁶ I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign Lord;
    I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone.
¹⁷ Since my youth, God, you have taught me,
    and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
¹⁸ Even when I am old and gray,
    do not forsake me, my God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
    your mighty acts to all who are to come.

¹⁹ Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens,
    you who have done great things.
    Who is like you, God?
²⁰ Though you have made me see troubles,
    many and bitter,
    you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
    you will again bring me up.
²¹ You will increase my honor
    and comfort me once more.

²² I will praise you with the harp
    for your faithfulness, my God;
I will sing praise to you with the lyre,
    Holy One of Israel.
²³ My lips will shout for joy
    when I sing praise to you—
    I whom you have delivered.
²⁴ My tongue will tell of your righteous acts
    all day long,
for those who wanted to harm me
    have been put to shame and confusion.

To heal, we must believe that God is faithful.

Only He will have the comfort our broken hearts need.

This world has trouble.

The Lord is my Shepherd.

Amen.

 

Five Minute Friday: Cancel

 This is part of the Five Minute Friday linkup. You set a timer and write for five minutes on the word prompt without editing.
I began in this linkup group in 2014 or 2015. Though I'm not a frequent contributor these days, tonight I'm in the group!

This week's word is "Cancel".

Though I'm tempted to vent my frustration as I live in a state with a high level of panic and a governor who has issued "mandates" through "emergency power" for the last 8 months straight and recently issued a "two week freeze", I am led a different direction.

"Cancel her debt," He said.

Paid in full.

How? I come from a poor family. I have no nobility, no inheritance. I would have been doomed to work off my debt as a slave until the day I breathed my last.

Instead, He looks at me with tender, loving eyes.

"And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All the people of my town know that you are a woman of noble character." (Ruth 3:11)

He is Boaz, I am Ruth.

He is Jesus, I am chosen, beloved, highly favored.

I choose to accept this gift.

I cancel sin and guilt and shame when they try to tell me that "that's your name."

Jesus has ransomed me, there is none closer.

"Aun cuando yo pase por el oscuro valle de la muerte, no temeré porque tú estás a mi lado. Tu vara y tu cayado me protegen y me confortan." (Salmo 23:4)
Even when I pass through death's dark valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.

In the intimate form of "you", the Spanish tells me that in the very darkest of times, Jesus is intimately, dearly, close beside me, protecting me as a cherished family member.

There is no formal distance.

What is canceled this year? Our list of wrongs. Our idols. All that we worshiped before life was put on hold.

What is not canceled?

Hope.

"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man comes to the Father but through me." John 14:6

"A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees, oh hear the angel voices, oh night divine, oh night when Christ was born."

I pray that God would cancel fear for you.
From the end of last year, at Christmas Eve service, He had me pouring through my Bible for the phrase "Do not be afraid". It was in all the gospels as the angels and even Jesus appeared to mankind.

In 2020, God is continually repeating Himself, "Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged."

Have courage, my friends. In 2020, fear is a liar, and fear is canceled.

Sincerely,

Tammy

 

Now: Five Minute Friday

The prompt is “Now”. You get one word and five minutes to write whatever comes to mind. Go!
FMF link!!

I don’t like to sit still. I am always looking ahead. Turning the calendar to the next month thrills me. I am always happy to help turn that page when my friends are a week behind because it doesn’t bother them.
God has a plan for me and I am slowly accepting it.
It’s called “Now”.
I am not enjoying it.
He is asking me to slow down and look at today. What can I see right now that He can do through me to speak to hearts needing to hear His reassurance?
We have a lot of transitions at my school-potentially merging with the other large Christian school in town. There has been so much uncertainty about the future and this has compounded it.
I have no idea what my future holds next year and if I will be classroom teaching the subjects I have previously taught and God has been prying gently every single bit of control from my chubby toddler hands. He is also asking me to empty my pockets.
I have stuffed my pockets full of little things I delight in controlling.
He is reminding me that this is the time to look for Him NOW, not in the future. This is our time. Each day, we are sharing the good news. Especially as tomorrow is Palm Sunday. “Hosanna” means “Lord save us.”
How fitting that we cry it out each Easter.

I am grateful He has been using the words of others’ posts and writing out the clouds in my head so I can see clearly.

-Tammy

My bilingual Bible: we are studying James and even here we have the “corona” in my mind. 😂

We had to go to our room to host our Bible study via Google Hangouts 

Same passage in English...

Self-covering for a grocery trip. Strange days we live in!!

Faithful

It's not Friday. I'm not spending five minutes typing.
But, I'm here to share. God is good.
He is answering prayers.
I shared with my chapel students last week some entries from a prayer journal my girls and I began in December 2018. We stopped writing our prayers and answers after I went to Guatemala. God didn't stop answering our prayers, but I kept no record. We have begun to write again.
And? I am thankful. Oh how He loves to defeat cancer in the people around us! Hallelujah!
(and sometimes, He doesn't defeat it on Earth. He takes those people to Heaven where death has no reach. We have had those people around us as well.)
My challenge to you? Write your prayers. Keep a record of the conversations you have to our faithful God. Then, mark the answered ones.

God keeps using Scripture to confirm His voice to me. Most recently? Psalm 5:12. The word Shield was on my mind during worship. I was writing down thoughts and my pen took over and wrote that word. Then on the slides of the Pastor's Power Point? "Surely, Lord, you bless the righteous;
    you surround them with your favor as with a shield."

Then, at school reading through my "199 Promises of God" devotional book (which is not linked to any date or order), we read that exact verse as the verse of the day just after that morning. It took my breath away. I gave testimony of God using that exact verse. I shared it with all five of the classes I teach that day. 

Demo photo credit from Dayspring website. See the rainbow behind the date?
That's on EVERY page and I didn't even notice!!

Today, a similar occurrence. I had ordered a perpetual calendar, "Promises of God". I didn't even notice but the cover had a rainbow. Often this school year, friends send me pictures of rainbows via text message or tag me on social media. It happens on Monday nights often when I seem to be feeling low. Today, that calendar arrived and today's passage was the exact passage dealing with Rest that our Pastor preached on yesterday and there was a rainbow on the page (and my friend texted me two rainbows from West Florida). Just a couple days ago my friend in LA also texted me pictures of a rainbow.
God is really trying to reassure me that He's with me. The passage? Matthew 11:28-29.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
He spoke in service how rest is operating in Jesus' way. In His job, His marriage, His plans, His finances, His victories. Then you are working WITH Him and it really is easy and light! 

I was not applying this yesterday afternoon/evening. And I became weary and burdened quickly. My poor husband is away on business and he got the full load of my emotions last night and a little more this morning. (He's trying to help me fix something on the car from a distance and I'm underqualified and don't have my head around the concept. I'm totally capable but doubt my abilities.)
Anyway, that rainbow and that devotional really got my attention (finally, right?!) tonight. He's got this. I need to TRUST Him fully.
Whew.

Anyway, those are some of the ways God is at work and speaking to me. Is He speaking to you? I'd love to hear about it!!
Love,
Tammy

Distant: Five Minute Friday

Though intermittent, I'm trying to utilize my posts for when I have something worth reading.
I've been having a lot on my mind lately and am grateful for a chance to share.
This week's linkup on Five Minute Friday is titled "Distant". We set a timer for five minutes and don't take a break to edit or re-write. This is raw, unedited, heartfelt writing that we share and comment on with each other. It's the most uplifting, encouraging writing community and I love the people behind those screens. I was blessed to meet up with many of them in real life a few summers ago at an FMF Retreat.
What a joy to be walking on Earth at the same time as these friends!!

Go!
The thought on my mind is to do with parenting. How do we ensure our children are actually being raised to follow Christ? If we don't do the work ourselves, we are expecting others to usher our children into the kingdom of God. We watch from a distance as the Sunday school teacher or the AWANA leader once a week pours into our kids. Perhaps we pay the tuition to put them into a Christian school so they get five days a week of a spiritual environment, but our distant contributions will not ensure anything if we're not doing work as well.
I could pay a "nursery" to care for my plant five days a week, and then pick it up at the end of the day, hoping that it would flourish in that environment. It might make it okay, but on the weekends, in the evenings, what am I doing to make sure that plant is thriving?

If I don't have my child plugged into a consistent church community because I myself am not involved, how am I being fed to pour out into my kids??

This is a post of self-reflection because God is stirring my thoughts lately. I teach at a private Christian school, but I cannot depend on my children's teachers to do the work I am tasked to do.

I am not allowed to be a distant mother, hoping that my own faith will rub off on my kids. I'm even less prepared to teach them if I'm not being prayed for and held accountable and worshiping corporately with others.

Sure, churches are full of people and people have their own problems, but we need to try, my friends.
Our children are at risk of being drawn AWAY from the love of God and what is true and right and noble and pure, because we are living in a world that wants to destroy our faith.

How are we equipping our kids for shining in the darkness when they grow up and move out??

-Tammy

Opportunity: Five Minute Friday

I'm so excited to make my first FMF contribution of 2019.
I love this community and have been really living in a new year with my walk with Christ this school year.
My word transformed from "All" in November. We took a family trip to the coast and the word "Still" became my new word. That was confirmed in December.
Exodus 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still."

This week's prompt at Five Minute Friday is "Opportunity."
Here we go:

When God gives you a dream, it may start out as a small idea that you're not even sure you'd entertain again. When the dream continues to visit you, something begins to stir and the dream becomes a passion. When you get the opportunity to take that dream and turn it into a reality, that opportunity from God becomes a direct graft into the vine. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5

In March I got the opportunity to go with our church to La Oscurana in Guatemala. I had a dream two years ago to bring instruments to the children so they would be able to worship even if the music in their heads wasn't the same as the sounds they produced when they sang. God helped me every step of the way, and His grace removed all barriers.

The children were in school when we visited and I was allowed to teach during their regular school day. I had 12 and 13 year old boys who in the afternoons ignored the soccer balls we brought and instead sat with me in the breezeway, hungry for more music instruction.
One student, even on my final day, ignored the pinata and the fresh watermelon, desperate to master the "Father I Adore You" round I had written on a notecard.

My five minutes is up, but my story is only beginning. What God allowed me to be a part of in that little village has made me feel a new spark of life in my heart. I was born to do this. I was born to worship God, and to share that worship with new faces, in a new language.
I have no greater joy than when I work with children and sing about our Jesus!

Rush: Five Minute Friday

It has been a crazy long time since I have participated in the linkup. (Blogger actually emailed me today to see if I still wanted to receive comment notifications on my blogs. That's a warning sign.)
The last FMF prompt I wrote on was May 6.
Since then, I have been down and am now back at level, working on getting back up.
God has been doing so much in me, carrying it on to completion and it's still a work in progress, but mostly He has been working out that word "Rest" that I received at last year's Five Minute Friday retreat.
As I prayed all summer about this year's oneword365 (google it. I do mine Sept-Aug instead of Jan-Dec), I had lots of ideas, but the consistent one was the word "All". As in "you can have it all" (google that song!), "I surrender all", and most recently, Jennifer Dukes Lee's book, "It's All Under Control".
Now that the back story has caught you up to date, it's time for this week's Five Minute Friday prompt and linkup.
Here's the link to Five Minute Friday.
The prompt this week is "Rush".

The first thing I thought of when I saw that prompt was the song "Breathe" that starts out really fast and then slows down on the Chorus. "Breathe, just breathe, Come and rest at my feet. And be, just be,
Chaos calls but all you really need is to just breathe." (Breathe, by Jonny Diaz)

I have been rushing so much. Rushing my kids out the door, constantly feeling the pressure of having to be somewhere on time has led to a high level of stress. Kids operate at a slower pace when they are in the primary grades. My oldest is usually ready on time and is entering middle school.
It's funny that I can't even remember what life was like when she was the one entering second grade and her youngest sister was still in preschool. That was my first year as a working mom.

Rapidly
Underappreciating
Sitting
Here




Martha was in a rush. Mary was not.
Somehow I crossed that line of "being busy means I am balanced and under control."
Instead, I'm overwhelmed by all the wonderful things I am doing for God, trying to make sure He really loves me.
Friends, that's not Jesus and that's not Grace. That's insecurity and Satan's spinning all the plates you're holding.
I am so encouraged to be reading "It's All Under Control." It officially releases September 18, but you can pre-order it now and get the first three chapters instantly in digital form. You also get a couple other freebies.
This book will help you to quiet yourself, to slow down, to have the "light and easy" yoke that He offers us instead of all the extra hitches we've put on ourselves.
If you're like me and tired of feeling the rush, maybe this book will also help you.

From "It's All Under Control" by Jennifer Dukes Lee

It's so great to be back with all of my Five Minute Friday friends! I've missed you and really needed to plug in this summer, but I was in a deep retreat, and it's finally time to surface again. :)

~Tammy

Adapt: Five Minute Friday

This week's prompt was Adapt. I wasn't sure if I'd chime in, but after my Sunday service, I'm all pumped up and excited to share with you!! Here's the Five Minute Friday link-up.

Life has been eventful as of late. It began a couple weeks ago with a students vs staff volleyball game. I'd had an iced blended "Dutch Freeze" from Dutch Brothers coffee and was feeling jittery and adrenaline rushed and I had shaky hands.

Two days later, I had some similar adrenaline rushing without physical activity. I began to have pain down my left tricep from shoulder to elbow, similar to a tetanus shot. Monday I was so in pain in my left upper back that I was unable to sleep well, and Tuesday's last minute chiropractic visit revealed a rib "out to China".
Tuesday evening, however, I was still just not myself and finally went in to the doctor (at 8pm that means ER).
My heart was okay, no heart attack, but my blood pressure was 148/104.
It remained high a week later when I had stopped taking my occasional sudafed and anything else suspect to causing this ailment.
I even went without coffee on Monday to give accuracy and my blood pressure was still 136/100.
So, I was put on blood pressure medicine.
Yesterday at Walmart, I didn't rest much before using their machine by the pharmacy, which gave me a pulse reading of 102, but my BP was 114/79. (My normal range again!)

During this ordeal, I was gifted with a chinese massage at a local place (before the follow up visit) and the verse John 14:27 was given to me.
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."

I have also ruminated on John 14:1
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe in Me as well."

Since then, every verse with the word "heart" has leapt at me.

Today at church it was Psalm 27:14.
(Here are my doodles)

Break it apart.

Here's my adapted version.

"Eagerly anticipate the Lord; be steady, unwavering, and confident, have hope and be encouraged as you eagerly anticipate the Lord."
(Waiting is not a punishment like waiting in line.)

That's where I am at and the timer has gone off.

To conclude, I feel that God is just wrestling control from my hands again. :) In His loving, but commanding way, He is saying, "You can eat right and exercise and commit your energy to fitness, but you are not in control of your body and health. You need to trust me in sickness and in health, for richer and poorer, for better and for worse. (yes, marriage vows.)
Do I praise Him when I'm up AND when I'm down? Better yet, do I trust His plans over my own?

~Tammy


My anthem lately is "Tremble" by Mosaic. I'm sharing it again. The first lyric is "peace" and it's been a steadying one for me.

Other: Five Minute Friday

Three months? This is by far the longest FMF gap I've had. Here's the linkup to Five Minute Friday.
So, here we go on the prompt "other".


"What are your other interests?"
It seems like life wants us to narrow down who we are and what we do into a nice, neat package.
And yet, we resist this labeling.

"I am more!" we cry.


"I want more!" is our inner cry.


You see, what is that "other" interest, pursuit, keeping you from being wholly fulfilled to the core of your soul?


These challenging thoughts have been a very clear message to me lately from the Holy Spirit.


Am I living for myself? Or am I living for God and what He wants to do through me?


These convictions don't lead to shame or guilt, but a mindfulness and a sense of renewed purpose.


Do I want my life to be filled with Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control?
If so, then that person of the Holy Spirit needs to be my center.
The task list can wait and the emails are going to be there when I'm done, but I need to worship.


Worship is like breathing. If you're not experiencing worship, full, unabandoned daily worship, you are not taking care of your spirit. This can be different for many of us. Worship and music are intertwined for me, but I'm a musical creature and music is my love language. I LOVE to sing praises to God and play music for Him, and to worship with others as well.


Maybe it's reading your Bible quietly, maybe it's journaling, or creating artistic verse images.


Though the timer has rung, perhaps you've begun to hear that still small voice like I have.


Blessings, friends.


Love,
Tammy


This song has been stuck in my head for weeks, but I couldn't remember how it began. Every week at church I would hear the interlude in my head with the female vocals (and no words there). A friend of mine was able to find it for me, based on my "ah-ah-ah-ah" rendition of the interlude. :) Enjoy!

Intentional: Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday happens every week. We get a prompt Thursday night and go to our keys, sharing our words for five straight minutes and then we stop. We then share our meager fishes and loaves to edify and encourage and build community.

Tonight's word is intentional.
I don't even know what to write.
So, poetry for five minutes, unfettered.
Here we go:

Trembling
Quivering
Holding it back
Holding it in
Unwavering hope
Unyielding faith
And yet, pain.
Emptiness.
Loneliness.
Where are you?!
I know you're here.
I feel nothing.
I want everything.
I want you.
What are my intentions?
I am fully yours.
Wholly yours.
I want only your fulfilling love.
I am intentional.
I am waiting here for you,
and yet,
I cannot wait.
I cannot stand still
I cannot stand the silence.
Deafening
Rushing
Washing over me
Tumbling me like Ocean waves
Crashing
Overwhelming
Exhausted,
Panting from all my trying.
I struggle to keep my head up
as I bow down
What am I that you would love me?
What do you see that would stop the God of the Universe?
And yet, I am beautiful and wonderfully made.
The curve of my chin,
the sparkle in my eyes,
the crinkles at the edges of my mouth when I smile,
this stops you and you say it is very good.
Oh my God, I cry out to you!
Will you let me feel you tonight?
Will you draw me into your tangible presence?
I am needing you to be intentional.
Stop me.
Hold me.
Don't let me flutter around like a restless bird.
Still me
Quiet me
Let us be, just you and me, sitting here and let us breathe.
In.
Out.
You.
Me.
Forever.


~Tammy

We had an unusual sunspot rainbow that mirrored the other night, and I was fortunate enough to capture it with my cellphone while spending time outdoors with my girls. We took a walk and ate ice cream and enjoyed the rainbows.

Lost and Loss

I am trying to process my trip to Arizona. I knew my Grandma was close to her end, but couldn’t make it down when she was still in control of her life the way I had last seen her.
In fact, I was faint with hunger when I landed in Tucson but was advised that she had almost passed away as I landed and I had better hurry over.

I arrived as soon as I could manage and she held on for me, but could barely move her eyelids open to see me. She had suffered mini strokes, leaving her unable to share her delightful laugh that bubbled up out of her every time before.
I can still see the sparkle in her light blue eyes as she joyfully filled our lives through her small acts of service. She always took great care with every task and paid attention to the smallest details.


My Aunt brought her guitar to the care center and we sang and played and spent two hours after visiting had ended, singing Christmas carols, hymns she loved, and even some modern worship choruses. We had harmonies, laughter, and sweet fellowship. My sister was still there, having given up a week to be sure my Grandma was being cared for properly (she’s an RN) and she was able to address some major concerns. We harmonized just as we had so many times before. Both my Aunts and their children were also there as well as my Mom and one of my Uncles.

A nurse came by and we asked if we were too loud. She said,”No. You can scream for all I care! You are singing Christian songs!”

There was something special in the room that night. I may never totally understand, but my Grandma was glowing. She had such a relaxed expression in her mouth and her brow was smiling even though she couldn’t open her eyes.

The next morning, she was much different. It was as if she was in a deep coma and couldn’t acknowledge our presence anymore. My Mom and I looked up hymn lyrics in Spanish on our phones and sang for hours. I spent some time alone by my Grandma’s bed, stroking her hair and holding her hands, praying with her.

We went to the small church she had attended for the last 15-20 months. The pastor and his wife drove to my Grandma’s home every week and took her to church. After she fell in October, they visited her faithfully. Another visitor at the center commented to me “You have an amazing pastor. He would play songs on his phone for an hour and sing along, holding the phone by her ear!”

Monday, my Grandma was the same. My Dad flew in, and we spent more time singing at her bedside.
Tuesday she was still stable, so we made the journey south to see my other grandparents. We had almost reached their town when we received the call.

It was hard to process the words. I knew what they meant, but I still cannot digest them.

You see, my Grandma is not lost. I have not lost her. I am experiencing loss, because we are separated by a fathom I cannot cross, but I know where she is. I know that I will get to join her. I have a hope and a joy mixed with a jumble of knots in my stomach and throat.
I am laughing and crying and quiet and wanting to shout and in the midst of all of it, it is well with my soul.

All around me are the jingle bells ringing and bright happy Christmas pictures and lights and I want to lose myself in them and I also want to shut them out.

I last saw her nine years ago and she wasn’t much for long phone calls, so my recent memories are few and far between, but I mailed her photos of my girls every year and tagged her on Facebook so she would be able to keep up.

I won’t tell you that I lost my Grandma, but I am definitely at a loss right now. At a loss for words, I am fine and then I am not. I can breathe, and then I am fighting to keep back the ocean from my eyes and voice.

“Jean was my Grandma, her heart was to love.
 She taught about Jesus, who came from above.
 Her life was the Gospel, she served and she gave.
 She’s on Earth no longer, she’s not in that grave.
 Goodbyes are disgusting and awful and hard.
 They pierce through my heart like a jagged glass shard.
 But someday I’ll join her and we’ll dance and we’ll sing,
 reunited in Heaven and worshipping our King.”

~Tammy

Near: Five Minute Friday

It's Friday! Time for another Five Minute Friday linkup. This week's prompt is "near".

Go!


I'll admit, the very first thing I thought with this prompt was the theme song to the movie "Titanic".

"Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that my heart will go on.
We'll stay forever this way, you are here in my heart and my heart will go on and on."


I thought that maybe I could take Celine Dion's vocals and over-spiritualize that chorus, but then I thought that just getting the song stuck in your head was probably enough of an offense. (laughing over here on this side of the screen)


Is God really far away, or is He near?

Eventually another song I sang in worship often during my college days came to mind.
It is scripture based, and draws lyrics from Nehemiah, another prophet, and James.


"Sing for joy to God our strength
Sing for joy to God our strength, our strength

If we call to Him, He will answer us
If we run to Him, He will run to us
If we lift our hands, He will lift us up
Come now praise his name, all you saints of God.

Draw near to Him, he is here with us
Give Him your love, He's in love with us
He will heal our hearts, He will cleanse our hands
If we rend our hearts He will heal our land."
(Sing for Joy by Don Moen)


If you read the actual passage in James, this was a rather harsh rebuke he was issuing in Chapter 4. Not so light and fluffy.

James 4:7-10
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ⁸ Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. ⁹ Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. ¹⁰ Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."


Perhaps, though, when we ignore the Lord, He feels distant to us because we are not focused on the right things. He is near, and we can hide ourselves in the cleft of the rock, and the storms will rage around us and we will get wet, maybe even soaked, but we will not be drowned.
Challenges that are fierce push us, propel us to the feet of God where we cast ourselves on His mercy. He wants us to come to Him, and He will fight our battles for us!

Nearer My God to Thee

Anne Murray

Nearer, my God, to Thee, nearer to Thee!
E'en though it be a cross that raise'th me,
Still all my song shall be,
Nearer, my God, to Thee.
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to Thee!

Though like the wanderer, the sun gone down,
Darkness be over me, my rest a stone.
Yet in my dreams I'd be
Nearer, my God to Thee.
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to Thee!

There let the way appear, steps unto heav'n;
All that Thou sendest me, in mercy given;
Angels to beckon me
Nearer, my God, to Thee.
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to Thee!

Then, with my waking thoughts bright with Thy praise,
Out of my stony griefs Bethel I'll raise;
So by my woes to be
Nearer, my God, to Thee.
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to Thee!

Or, if on joyful wing cleaving the sky,
Sun, moon, and stars forgot, upward I'll fly,
Still all my song shall be,
Nearer, my God, to Thee.
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to Thee!

There in my Father's home, safe and at rest,
There in my Savior's love, perfectly blest;
Age after age to be,
Nearer my God to Thee.
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to Thee!

Songwriters: JOHN S HURT

© OLE MEDIA MANAGEMENT LP

Timer has gone, and I will leave you with two videos. "Sing for Joy" and an amazing, tear-causing Cello version of "Nearer My God to Thee" performed by Stephen Sharp Nelson (The Piano Guys)

Love,

Tammy

Silence: Five Minute Friday

Due to my infrequent contributions to FMF during the school year, my blog will appear to be "silent". :) Our prompt this week is 'silence'.
Ready set go!

The silence of the room, the hushed moment of intimacy shattered in a surprise attack!

Torn away and dragged off to her death, she struggles to contain herself.

Thrown to his feet in the crowd, she cannot meet his gaze. They announce her sins for even Caesar to hear, and yet the Rabbi is silent.

Tears flow down her face as she steels herself for the stinging stones that will be followed by crushing cobblestones.
"Let him who is without sin cast the first stone!"
Strangely, the whispers fade into whispers until all she finally hears is, "Woman, where are your accusers?"

We, like helpless sheep, cannot defend ourselves against our accusers, but our silent appeals to the Lord Jesus Christ are heard.

It is in the silent discipline of listening that we hear the voice of God. It is no coincidence that the letters which spell "listen" also spell "silent."

*time has ended*

~Tammy

Overcome:Five Minute Friday

When I saw that the prompt was “overcome”, I thought hard. Am I overcoming or am I being overcome?

I have had some refining and growing experiences over the past seven days.

And, some reinforcement of those principles as the days have gone on.
God had my full attention, He was calling me to press into him.

And yet, I still was not ready to fully embrace the calling of the moment.

I was stirred, passionate, ready for action, and then I froze.

The results of my inhibition were the exact results I’d predicted, but the aftermath did not leave me unscathed either.

I still had to learn some things about myself.

I’m still processing much of this.
Remember the verse about Mary pondering this in her heart?
I’m trying to do more of that.

I’m reading a book titled “Fiercehearted”, the very first story is on conflict. On embracing conflict.

On the ways that going through conflict actually makes relationships deeper.

I’m the opposite of embracing conflict. I’d rather know I’m right and hold my tongue than risk a flare of nostrils from one being challenged by my words.

There is a time and a season for everything, and I need to see these moments with my spiritual lenses.

My battle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces. (Eph 6:12)

My friend Marie speaks of standing firm in her post here:

I could so relate! I’m wanting to be Barnabas and encourage others, but sometimes that means speaking truth in love.
It means bracing myself for what is right and how it can clash with what is wrong, and being willing to state that something is wrong.

Oh, friends, this is a scary new place for me, and along with it is overcoming my need for approval.

*time has ended*

Here's the FMF link

Thanks for walking with me, one day at a time.

- Tammy

Invite: Five Minute Friday

I participate in "Five Minute Friday" as often as I can. Weekly, at fiveminutefriday.com we have a one-word prompt that we free-write on for only five minutes. No edits, no fanfare, just our sweet offerings in a community of gifted writers that pour out encouragement and "me too".


I was so excited to write this week and had hoped that I could incorporate the prompt into my words.
The prompt is "invite" and it fits so perfectly!!

How often are we rushing through our lives? We are trying to maximize our time and be efficient, and we don't slow down for anything. We tell our kids to "hurry up" more than we tell them "I love you".

Ouch.

Recently, I was going to be at an appointment that I knew would take longer than I wanted it to take. I was trying to prepare my heart to have a good attitude, when God softly whispered to me.

"What if I want to bless you? Would you be willing to linger? Would you soak and savor in that blessing from me?"

My attitude was completely changed! All of a sudden I was looking at this with brand new eyes.
God was inviting me to a chance to be blessed.
I couldn't wait!

And I thought, what if I were looking for His blessing in every situation? Especially the difficult ones? Would I find it there, hidden from plain sight but obvious to one searching?

Last night, I was one of the lucky people in our small Oregon town to attend a Cloverton concert.
Their new album, "Bloom" is full of meaningful lyrics and each song was either filling my heart, or speaking to me where I was at. Lance, the lead singer, took time in the concert to be intentional and speak to us in the audience about what God is trying to do for us. Their music ministry is by far the largest blessing I've ever received at a concert.
I came expecting to be entertained, but I left with my heart refreshed and my soul restored.
Truly, if you are anywhere near their tour, I cannot tell you enough what God is doing right now through them! They have a young lady opening for them named "Linsley" who is gifted, sweet, and even told me she'd be praying for our worship conference next week.

How often do you meet a touring group that is selfless and giving, instead of self-focused and entitled?

God is trying to bless us right now. We need only to look for the blessing. Will you take Him up on his invitation?

Linsley's Song "Give it a rest" was absolutely beautiful. Her voice is such a gift!

 

 Cloverton's new song "Here it Comes" was by far my favorite at the concert!!!

-Tammy
P.S. Thank you for your comments! I have found that even though I reply well, I don't always make it over to your blog in return, and I apologize if I don't. Know that I will make an effort to read your offering as well if you tell me your linkup number.

Depend: Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday is here again, and I am finally caught up enough to participate! Here's the weekly linkup if you're interested in reading more about "depend" this week. So much blessing awaits you!

I never thought of being dependable as sinful.

Growing up, I was the oldest of five children and quite Americanized. Independence and self-sufficiency were praised and I flourished in the predictability of being in control and "in charge".

I wanted to prove that I was trustworthy and responsible and could be left alone.

All of these things are necessary for children to live on their own and survive, but in the realm of the faithful, we have much to unlearn.

Depending on somebody else, being co-dependent, needing somebody in order to sustain our own lives—these all are fairly uncomfortable situations for most of us.

This is precisely where God wants us to develop faith.

He reminds us of feeding the sparrows—that their basic needs are met, and how we are worth much more than sparrows to God. How easy it is to forget, as we are coordinating schedules and packing lunches and balancing checkbooks and grocery shopping and folding laundry, that God is supposed to sustain us, not the other way around.

"See, God? I'm doing it all! I'm Instagraming my sweet devo while I'm waiting in the pickup line." "Philippians 4:13, Lord. I can do all things! (through you, of course, but you don't have to worry about me. That friend of mine needs much more of you right now, what with her husband deployed and another one on the way.)"

Oh, sweet sisters (and brothers), can we just remember why God calls us children? We're not supposed to outgrow our need for God.
*timer has sounded*

And, if you wonder if you can Depend on God? This song. Oh, if nothing else you do today, THIS SONG!!! (It's been my anthem this summer, and our High School worship team introduced it at school yesterday. I was beyond ecstatic!)

Love,
Tammy

Work: Five Minute Friday

Oh my friends, I miss you! Here is my submission for this week's Five Minute Friday Linkup.
The prompt is "Work", which is my large reason for less contributions to FMF in general. :)

Go!

Work is not a word that is all negative. In fact, it's a compliment to be labeled a "hard worker". We are encouraged to work hard, to be diligent and not lazy.
When, however, we have to "put in the work", the tone of the word can take on a negative connotation.
The same is true in marriage.
This Monday, my husband and I will celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary.
For the most part, we've worked hard to work together and work things out.
And, most of the time, we don't have much to work out.
This past week was a week of hard work, most likely because I'm "back to work" as a school teacher. We're just not getting much time together and he's been helping catch up some of my house work to ease my burden but it's not gaining us any time.
We had an opportunity to talk about it and work it out. It wasn't really a fun or easy conversation, but the beauty of 13 years is that we are understanding each other better. We know what the other needs, but don't always recognize an unmet need in that area without a floodlight or a magnifying glass or a megaphone in those times of emptiness.

Company Christmas party 2004 (still newlyweds)

Myself and Dave on the first day back to school (and his amazing Barracuda behind us)
http://dartslantsix.wordpress.com to follow his rebuild adventures

I am so so thankful that neither of us enjoy stewing and punishing the other with our hurt feelings. That our parents are still married (for both of us! it's rare with friends our ages) is one contributing factor, but I think that the work you put in yields you the reward.

So, if you're married, commit to working it out. If you're not married, don't rush into it until you know that they're willing to work at it until it works.
And, if God's not at the center of your marriage? You're going to have to work so much harder to keep it together. He is our third strand that keeps us tightly woven. Even if one of the strands would be removed, He would still be tightly wound with the other strand.

~Tammy