Thursday, January 5, 2017

Connect: Five Minute Friday

Writing for the Five Minute Friday linkup tonight. Over at Kate Motaung's website, we have one word we write on for five minutes every Friday. You don't edit or scrutinize. You simply write and place your offering amongst the other ones, then read other posts and comment and create community. It's delightful!

Go.
"Connect"

Funny how my mind often works. When I see a word, I think of its antonym. Tonight, when thinking of writing on 'connect', I instead thought of 'disconnect'.

And, perhaps it's because I've been feeling disconnected and longing to connect again. Every Christian will go through seasons and cycles and I don't need to add to the beautiful writings out there to detail it for you. But in my current season, it's been easy to be busy and difficult to connect in real life.

I LOVE my Five Minute Friday community and even here, I have been able, at best, to only contribute twice a month, though I will read and comment on other posts that I follow.

In our small group, we are a landing point for new couples. We get them established, plugged in, they begin to serve, and then we have to let them go. It's a little difficult to always have new people that move forward, because we just want somebody steady sometimes. We used to have that, but God showed us that the group had become stagnant and newcomers didn't have the chance to break in and be a part, so we had to disconnect.

It was awful. All the couples we had weekly updates with were still meeting and we were in a new group with people we cared for but they'd all had many memories together without us. Now WE were the new people.

It made us more sensitive both how we received and how we extended fellowship.
Truly,  sometimes you need to disconnect before you can fully connect. This is also true in our daily lives. If our devotions become a mechanical routine, a mark on the checklist, then what connection have we truly made?

"But to walk justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with thy God."
This is where connection happens. When we focus on three little things that are really quite large, and then God connects us to Himself in depths unfathomable.

Tears, anger, joy, these are all legitimate reactions. (Read the Psalms if you don't believe me)
He embraces you through all of them. For me it's been tears lately, when I haven't felt desert dry and parched for connection, I've been weeping through my time with Him. I've been growing. And I don't have a nice setting for that. It's ugly cry every time it's hard. It was hard to learn to walk, hard to learn to drive stick shift (I couldn't have the radio on or anyone talking. Oh man, my poor husband!) and through it all, those who love me stick by my noisy huffing and puffing as I work through it and get on the other side.

Thank you for connecting with me, even tonight. I am so blessed to have your eyes on these words, affirming that I'm not the only one who feels this way.

-Tammy
{P.S. Please leave your linkup # or your url so I can read and comment back for you!}

19 comments:

  1. I know the feeling of being a new person, currently we are just over midway through our tour so right now it isn't super familiar. I found my home. A good reminder though to always try to remember how it feels to be the new people.

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    1. Amanda,
      oh how brave you are. Constantly transitioning. In some ways, I envy the ones who are always leaving because there's a bit of hope and adventure in the "new". At the same time, it's frightening and painful to constantly uproot and start over. It's stressful to parent and try to help the kids transition.
      I think God has a special calling on your life just like missionaries.
      Thank you for taking time to connect here. You are a blessing.
      Love,
      Tammy

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  2. Tammy, I loved your post. And it's always a gift to read your words. You're right that sometimes connecting is hard. Building new relationships can be challenging. I admire that you and your husband followed God's call to be part of a community group that is shifting. It keeps you out of your comfort zone and focusing more on Jesus to meet those relational needs.

    And for the record, I LOVE connecting with you in our various hang outs online. You are a gift, my friend.

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    1. Jeanne,
      oh I've missed you. And in our record-setting cold temperatures and snowfall, I am reminiscing of Colorado childhoods. I don't ski-I snowboard, but I'm sure you and I would have just as much fun on the slopes as we would in the lodge.
      Hoping some day I'll get to connect with you in real life. And just typing that made me all misty-eyed. You are very dear to me, sweet Jeanne. Shoot, my middle name is Jean. We're practically related!
      Love,
      Tammy

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    2. You'd BETTER let me know if you ever get out here. A meeting would be a must!! :) Hugs, sweet friend.

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  3. Oh Tammy, I'm so happy to see you here, but my heart hurts that you have felt disconnected. We've missed you! You're right though...sometimes we need to disconnect so we can connect again. You, my friend, are not alone.

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    1. Tara,
      dear dear Tara. You are my fuzzy forever friend. I'm getting over a virus that I received before Christmas (it's a lingering one and many here have gone through it before me). So, I'm all bundled up in a fuzzy robe and fuzzy pajama pants and thankful for your hugs. We're pretty much having your weather right now. It's not normal for here, though we're high desert. Dry powdery snow and -14 last night. I think it got up to 7 today. Ha!

      Thank you for reaching out. I cherish our friendship!
      Love,
      Tammy

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  4. Great post, Tammy; very profound.

    In being disconnected from virtually everything I knew of as 'life', I found that the connexion to God that underlay everything was stronger than ever. That was a good moment.

    #2 at FMF this week.

    http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2017/01/your-dying-spouse-255-why-not-give-up.html

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    1. Andrew,
      I have seen that journey in your writing. Though, for myself, there has been some guilt in that I am feeling disconnected even from God's fellowship. Just stranded, somehow. Like wandering in the wilderness or swimming in an endless sea.

      I feel like I'm overdramatic right now, so I'll quit that nonsense, but I do so appreciate you and my other FMF friends. It's amazing how quickly we become connected on a deep level through 5 minutes of writing, but our hearts are all threaded together with the same crimson string.

      I will be forever grateful for all you have taught me in the last couple years since I joined FMF! And am thankful every week that you're still here, though I can't imagine the work it is to be alive for you.

      Love,
      Tammy

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  5. Great post! I feel the SAME way right now in our "couple" relationships. Thanks for the reminders of truth here.
    -Sarah (#27) FMF

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    1. Sarah, thanks for your linkup number! I'm excited to connect with you.
      My husband and I are the "steady eddie's" if you will. Not many crisis moments for us, and many in the couples we fellowship with, from children with major illnesses to marriage problems, parent problems, we are the boring, normal couple that is always there. What's amazing is that we don't see who is watching and observing us. We were able to have a couple reach out to us for help and go through the "Love and Respect" series with them, and they are thriving now and want to go through it with other couples! You are making a difference even if you don't see it.
      Love,
      Tammy

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  6. Sorry you have been feeling so disconnected. I think it is often those times when we feel disconnected from others that make us really see our need to connect with God, and also make us more aware of how we can love others and help them feel connected, but it is not an easy place to be. I have loved connecting with you here! (#20)

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    1. Lesley,
      I totally agree. And yet, when you're already feeling isolated from others, sometimes you also can feel that God, too, is at arms' length. Thankfully, His word speaks to me. He has been bringing me scriptures to strengthen me. This is just a valley and there are more mountains ahead.
      :) So glad I've met you here as well. You are very similar to me at times and I've enjoyed reading your posts.
      Love,
      Tammy

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  7. Tammy, I know those tears well. They have been my food lately. I am thankful that, no matter how disconnected and out of sorts I feel, God is always willing and ready and waiting to listen. I'm also thankful that He's brought people like you into my life!

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    1. Oh Marie! How close and yet how far away you are. (Like, seriously. It's just one river, right? Okay, it's the Snake River. Details.)

      I am sorry that these have been your sustenance as well, but so grateful that you shared it. We'll sniffle and stumble through this together and come out the other side laughing like the Gilmore Girls. (And I'll admit I have yet to see a single episode. I'm curious but don't binge on TV with three young girls, so I'll save it for another season.)

      Bless you, you and your journey inspire me.
      Love,
      Tammy

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  8. This is good. I know the feeling. I had to disconnect from my life and community a couple years ago (for good reason... getting married and moving!) and it takes me a long time to find my people. I will refrain from writing a really long comment full of backstory and just say I get it. :) Thanks for sharing! (I'm #87 on FMF this week!)

    http://www.jenroseyokel.com/post/155549757352/five-minute-friday-connect

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    1. Jen, thanks so much. I am currently living in the same house for the 12th year-which is a record for me! The longest my parents ever lived in one state or house is 9 years. I know the feeling of uprooting and starting anew and how hard it can be to bond when the new place is not new to your spouse but is new to you. But maybe yours is new to the both of you?
      Anyway, congratulations on your marriage and I am so glad you chose to visit me!
      Love,
      Tammy

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    2. Oh wow... well, here's to setting records! Hopefully that's a helpful, grounding thing for you and your family. I'm learning that it does indeed take time and space to let those roots sink in.

      And yep, you're correct. I moved from Florida (where I grew up) to Massachusetts (where he grew up). I do miss a lot of things about my home, but I am growing to love this area and think of it as another home too.

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  9. That feeling of disconnection can be so isolating and difficult :( you express the journey of it so well, though and the fact that you are actively trying to reach out to others who are disconnected is so great. What a powerful example you are!

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