Monday, October 6, 2014

As Old As Jesus

I just celebrated my 33rd birthday. And to tell you the truth, it was wonderful! I got to spend the morning doing something I love: playing the piano during our two worship services at our church. Especially when I'm just the quiet covering of music at the end of the service and nobody speaks, nobody sings, but the pastor is being sensitive to the movement of what God has been doing during the message. And? There's no script. No set composition of pre-ordained notes. Certainly, I have a structure of guided chords to follow so we can all jump in with the full band, but there is still freedom to worship through my hands.

This is the time where I commune with God best. I can recall as a child, slipping away into the sanctuary (second building on our property) where our home church met. The door did have red and blue stained glass. I would go into that place, and the silence was comforting. There was always that sense of "special". Even in our current sanctuary, I've been able sometimes to go in and play on the beautiful baby grand piano, savoring the reverberation of each string as it fills the air and seems to continue on into eternity. The white noise of the forced air system hushes any other sounds in the building and there is a sense of entering the Holy of Holies when you go into that place.

How privileged we are to be able to enter that place ourselves! And yet, it is not because of our own righteousness, but because of Jesus. He was in His final year of ministry at age 33. That's giving me a little perspective this year. I like to set goals on my birthday for the year ahead. If it were my final year, what is most important to me and what would I want others to know this year? What would I want their remembrance to look like?

I want to be like Jesus. I want to be so bathed in His presence that when with others, His love and teaching would linger even after we part ways. I am simply the cup. He is the Living Water, but I want to be a cup that is used often. It's okay if I am dented or scratched from all my trips to the dishwasher, because I'm in frequent use. I want to be one of His favorite cups, that He uses over and over to give His life!!

This song has been my chorus as of late, I hope it encourages you. It summarizes so well what I'm desiring in my heart of hearts.

"All I want, all I need, more of You, less of me.
Take this life, Lord it's yours, have my heart, have it all."

~"To Be Like You" by Hillsong (Glorious Ruins)


  1. You brought tears to my eyes, Tammy! So very beautiful. I SO get it. I play the piano (a little) and the times when I feel God's presence the most is when it's just me and him in quiet solitude, playing and worshipping.

    1. Thank you, Simone! Your love and prayers are so much an encouragement to me and I'm thankful to know you.