I missed the FMF party last night. And for the FIRST time in a year, I wasn't sure if I'd participate in the linkup. Not due to anything related to the writing. I enjoy it and the community!
It's because for the FIRST time in a long time, I was in a broken, broken place. And I wasn't even the reason I was there. It was somebody else. It was their story and there was more to it every day and I didn't think my heart could break any more than it had, until I'd get the next piece.
It was the FIRST thing that I dealt with this week after a long break from responsibility. I was all poised to write something super spiritual about my Oneword365 being "Humble" and the last being FIRST and putting yourself last so that God would raise you up to FIRST place in His kingdom.
But I couldn't. It's not that I'm defeated. Nor is the person. No, but this is the FIRST time in my life where I have seen so much evil in one small amount of time and there is a mark on this person. It's God's mark, but the enemy's target has the mark in his crosshairs.
So, I'm praying. I'm emotional. I'm exhausted, but God? He is the FIRST and the Last. The ALPHA and the Omega. The BEGINNING and the End. Our stories, the middle is the messiest, but the sorrow highlights the joy. The sunset and the cold dark night always give way to the light.
And I know that GOD will take everything and redeem it. He took me to Psalm 25:4-5 last night. I am the FIRST child in my family and a college graduation gift had that inscription.
Show me the right path, O Lord;
point out the road for me to follow.
Lead me by your truth and teach me,
for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you. (Psalm 25:4-5 NLT)
And then, I kept reading.
There was my word, "humble" in the middle of it.
Remember, O Lord, your compassion and unfailing love,
which you have shown from long ages past.
7 Do not remember the rebellious sins of my youth.
Remember me in the light of your unfailing love,
for you are merciful, O Lord.
he shows the proper path to those who go astray.
9 He leads the humble in doing right,
teaching them his way.
10 The Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness all who keep his covenant and obey his demands. (Psalm 25:6-10 NLT)