Our biggest regression that my husband and I detest is pottytraining regression.
*sigh* Somehow we have a fear in our minds that our children will NEVER outgrow this unpleasant behavior. The fear is unfounded, but presents itself again each time we have a mess to deal with. One child prefers the first type of mess, the other one, well, the other kind, naturally.
In all honesty, we go so long between the accidents (months at a time) that we've developed that position of "we're finally there!" "never again!" "yes! we did it!".
Our daughters are young. We forget that. One is not-quite 6, but will be soon. One just turned 4 and one just turned 2. We expect a lot of them, but it's because they're so capable.
When they are incessantly bickering and hurting each other, it's hot outside, and in general we're sleeping less because the sun's up later, we tend to parent in a louder tone of voice than is preferable for all of us.
It led me to think about what we say to others when we are upset. I am intentional about my words with my children, but in the past, I know I have said things that I didn't really mean.
It is much easier to lie to somebody than to state what is actually upsetting you.
If we were to look at what was really upsetting us, this is how it would sound out loud.
"I'm frustrated that you keep making the same mistake!"
"I wish I didn't get so upset by something silly like spilled milk!"
"I wish you would stop fighting with your sister because it makes me think I'm not a good parent!"
"I wish you would keep your clothes clean so we wouldn't have unsanitary messes in your clothes and on the floor!"
"I'm worried that kids won't like you if you keep doing this!"
"I'm yelling at you and your sister to stop because I'm tired and I really don't feel like coming all the way into your room to deal with it!"
"I'm lazy and selfish!" (ouch, right? But, so true.)
In the book of Psalms, there is a short prayer that has become my first sentence in the morning. I've had a couple weeks of not remembering to say it and that is why I'm typing all this today. We're going to remember and make a conscious effort. Is it work? Yes. Is it worthwhile? Yes. In the end will I be less mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically exhausted? I actually think that yes, I will, because I won't be depending on my mere mortal capability to handle the stresses life is throwing at me. I will be asking for help.