This week's prompt is: Lose.
Go!
Well, once again I missed the FMF twitter party. This Thursday, though, it's because I want to lose some flub. As a new teacher this year, exercise fell by the way-side. And, since I'm a comfort/stress "eater", not a "starver", I want to lose how tightly my clothes are clinging. God is really using His mysterious ways to bring me to new opportunities to minister, too. You see, a couple months ago my husband and I had finished our couples' study we had been leading. I decided to help out with the junior high youth group at church.
Last night, I was "running" with our middle school athletes. The coach went "easy" on me. I had nothing to lose except my pride, right?
"I count it all as a loss compared to the greatness of knowing Christ."
Losing my pride has been the theme this entire year of working at the school. I was an excellent substitute teacher. I thought I had great classroom management skills. Any experienced teacher will tell you what I have learned, though. Subbing to full-time is like babysitting to parenting. You THINK you know, but you can't really know. You have to do it to learn how to do it fully.
What I am losing in the classroom is what I am losing on the track. That excess that isn't really me. (or maybe it is me. And maybe what I want to be is not me, but Christ in me.) I'm having to discipline myself and work hard. It hurts. I'm shedding laziness. And you know what? It's hard to lose laziness. It clings to you. In many places.
I don't want to think of having enough of my own strength and being able to just "make it" every day without God's help. I need to have the discipline of seeking input from others and Him to be effective. So next week I begin an online Continuing Education course specifically for math teachers. I'm excited to be able to ask questions and share ideas with other teachers out there.
First day of school...bright-eyed, confident, and about to grow a lot! |
The best part of this journey? It's okay to realize you need help to be better. That none of us are without benefit from training. Even standout athletes can refine their talent. And less-than athletic people like myself can still get back in shape. One step at a time.
In honor of this all, here's Chariots of Fire.
-Tammy
P.S. Be sure to tell me your url or linkup number so I can find your post on Kate's page! :) Thanks!
Thanks! I needed this reminder that we all can gain something by continuing to grow and learn. And stress eating....that is so me too friend!
ReplyDeleteTara,
DeleteI don't think I'll ever stop learning. :) As soon as I think I know something, God is quick to give me an opportunity to remind me I don't "know it all". :D
So glad for your company on this journey!
Love,
Tammy
I love the comparison of losing yourself in exercise and in teaching. The one year I taught Mother's Day exposed my heart in so many areas. The worst of it is all was that the parents thought I was fantastic and my heart was breaking to realize I had lost my patience again with a precious child of God who had been given to me to protect.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this story of refining and growth. It is so great. What are you teaching? Grade/Subject?
You can find me at #47 on the linkup
I'm teaching junior high math. I also have a high school elective class. Each present their own rewards and challenges.
DeleteAnd yes, those times of frustration where we act of our own strength, it usually goes to a human failure. :/
So glad that God knows ahead of time and uses it to shape us!
Looking forward to visiting you.
Love,
Tammy
Great post Tammy! Admitting our lack is such a hard thing to do at times, but then it just stops us from getting help or moving forward, hey? Looks like you are striding forward even if it feels like you are just taking the next little step :)
ReplyDeleteEmma,
Deletethanks for the encouragement! I definitely feel like I'm wading through instead of walking on that water...but forward is a good direction to be moving.
That's why I'm the turtle, right? :D
You have encouraged me today. Thank you!
Love,
Tammy
I think I'm #19 but I also think you've already visited me!!! Your reason for missing the party is admirable and this post gave me insight into the year you've just completed and I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!! Math questions? Lord have mercy - I loathe math!!! xo
ReplyDeleteSusan,
Deleteyou are so sweet. :) I've not had as much creative focus in writing, but God is still using me, that is for sure. I will be exercising on Thursdays and may be missing the Twitter party a lot, but the jr. high girls I'll be sweating with will benefit.
Love,
Tammy
Tammy, I love your desire to continue to learn and grow and that you're taking action to do that! Your example inspires me and challenges me about where I need to let go of pride and learn to accept help from others.
ReplyDeleteCarly,
Deleteoh sweet sister, thank you for letting me be used in your life! I'm so glad my struggle can inspire others. It doesn't feel very inspirational when you're in the middle of it. But you have had the same effect on me!
Love,
Tammy
What a beautiful, honest post, Tammy! Your self-awareness is inspiring. You'll do great!
ReplyDeleteAndrew,
Deleteoh dear friend, you are the inspiring one. My complaints are "light and momentary". But, I do know that you've known my struggle, so I appreciate your encouragement. Teaching is so worthwhile, but it refines us!
Honored to have your comment.
Love,
Tammy
Thanks for sharing. Losing our pride is wonderful and terrible all at the same time; painful and powerful. Blessings and grace to you in it! Stopping by from FMF #8
ReplyDeleteThank you Shannon.
DeleteLooking forward to every post you write. Your perspective of Abba and little girl, oh. You touch my heart! Thank you for the blessings and grace!
Love,
Tammy