But, I did get the prompt.
"Pass"
Truthfully, I have had much more than five minutes to ponder my post so this will seem more coherent than some in the past. I thought about hall pass and free pass and taking a pass because you didn't want to try something. I thought about Passover. I finally settled on Pass and Fail.
And, perhaps it was the stack of math tests I had just gone through, but it made me go deeper.
I was academically motivated as a child. A firstborn with everything to prove, and a natural skill at academics, I never was content with just a passing grade. I always wanted to be the best and do my best and I can still remember the spelling word I missed in the fifth grade spelling bee. "Bulldozer". "B-U-L-(huge pause-one or two?)-D-O-Z-E-R". "I'm sorry, that is incorrect."
In my Christian walk, I grew up with a lot of the same ideals about walking with Christ, but it set me up for constant failures. It is only in the deep trenches of parenting that God has been able to show me with fullness that I cannot measure up. Ever.
And it's okay.
You see, with God, it's not about us. It's about Jesus. He passed the test because we couldn't. We get a "pass" on this one. We just have to believe it and accept it. Out of our thankfulness, our failures are regrettable, but still redeemable. There is no sin He did not pay for. My successes don't add to his love and my failures don't take away.
I'm sharing a video with a powerful drama that I first saw in 2006 or 2007. The song is "Everything" by Lifehouse, and it gets me every time when the main character struggles. Really struggles.
Because, we have an enemy who is so skilled at telling us we're Failing.
He discourages us. It's his job.
We can know the truth, and the truth can set us free. It can help us get past the lies.
"Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him!" (Romans 5:7-9)
When you pass from this life into eternity, where will you go?
-Tammy