Run the race...

Somewhere I have a photograph. I am in the seventh grade, tall and skinny, my cheeks are hollow, and I am running the hardest I have ever run. It is the District Cross Country meet.
I did not want to be there. I'd begun the year as a member of the team, but had quit when our post-school runs exceeded one mile. I joined because my best friend loved running. I loved spending time with her, but my body wasn't built for distances.
The night before the race, I had received a phone call begging me to attend the race so the team would qualify for the event. I was just a necessary body.
When I began the race I sprinted with the pack, then quickly fell behind after a quarter mile and by the half mile point I was walking.
My less-than-stellar attitude led to much mumbling and a grumpy face as I intentionally walked the better half of that course.
As I neared the finish line, my friends began shouting, "Run, Tammy! Run! There's someone behind you!"
I looked back, and yes, there was a girl behind me. Suddenly, I had energy, I had strength, I had motivation, and I had cheerleaders. I sprinted those last hundred yards as if I were an Olympic athlete flying through the chute.

The total distance of the race? 2 miles.
I vowed never to run again.

Fast forward to Winter 2011/12. My sweet husband informs me that he needs exercise, we're getting a treadmill, and we're entering a 5k so we'll use it.

http://www.hivehealthmedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Wheel-treadmill.jpg

Not excited.
At all.
Nope.
Run?
Me?
List of excuses begins.
Still, I love him and he has my best interests at heart.
We purchased expensive running shoes with our tax returns (ouch!), began training, completed the race together, and once I'd had a taste of outdoor running, I began to enjoy how I felt after the runs.

Still, I did not love running. Not at all. It was simply the cheapest exercise option for a family of five on one income.

Fast forward to Summer 2013. I'd been running our 2 mile walking loop for exercise and it was pretty comfortable. Sometimes I would do our 5k loop (just over 3 miles) instead-a decent 30-35 minute workout.

A friend emailed me and another mom, asking if we'd train with her for a HALF-MARATHON.
Yes, I used all capitals.
For you non-runners, a marathon is the greatest endurance test out there. 26.2 miles.
So, a half-marathon is 13.11 miles. (21.0975km)
In comparison, my longest distance runs were 3.11 miles (5km)
That's a difference of Ten MILES. Over four times the amount of running I was accustomed to.

I laughed, I cried, I thought there was a joke in there somewhere.
This sweet, bubbly friend loves to run and has run her entire life. She is fast.
My 10 minute mile record in junior high has yet to be bested. (I am slow)
She graciously encouraged that if we began training on August 5th, we could use a "12 Week Training Plan" and it would conclude with the race on October 26th.

I would have dismissed it entirely, but the other mom friend was enthusiastic in her reply and said "yes".
I couldn't be the wet blanket, the party pooper, left out, etc.

Currently, I am on week 6 of training.

What is the point of this story?

Our life is not meant to be lived in seclusion. We need other people to challenge us, encourage us, motivate us and cheer us on.
Had you asked me in July if I would be able to run six miles without stopping, I would have said "no" and that would have ended the conversation.
Saturday morning, I ran those six miles in 71 minutes, 55 seconds.
Had I not found a training plan that took baby steps, I would have quit five weeks ago. Most of the plans asked you to run six miles on your first Saturday.

A friend ran with me yesterday even though she'd never run more than 3 miles straight. She's a sprinter and usually does 8-9 minute miles. She had to stop at 2.5 and walk for a while as I continued on to the 3 mile point then turned around to complete our race. She was there waiting for me and we ran the last 2.5 miles together. It challenged our bodies and we were really struggling to finish the last mile, but with a friend, you are less likely to quit. We encouraged each other to keep running and not give up.

Paul describes Christianity as a race.
I'm beginning to understand.
There are goals that somebody will present to me that are reachable if I'll simply try. They can see something in me I don't see for myself.
I may be intimidated because the experience is new or more difficult than I believe myself capable of achieving.
Still, once you take those small steps and receive encouragement, you start to flower and blossom.
You can see success and you start to tune out the negative thoughts.
"I could never do that" becomes "Maybe I could do that...if..."
"I'm not sure I could, but I'll try..."
"Hey, this is actually not so hard..."
"What? Would you believe that?!!"
"Yes! Oh, I never thought I could have done this but..."

So, if you feel God stretching you, taking you out of your comfort zone, remember that this is not a sprint. It's not about speed, it's about finishing. Some people may run faster than you and some people may walk. You may take some time to encourage somebody slower than you or you may receive encouragement from somebody who's been training for a long time and isn't struggling to complete that next mile that you think is going to kill you.
At the end, if I complete this half-marathon, I will get the same prize as everybody who finishes. A medal. (this is not the actual medal, just a similar Oregon medal for a half marathon)

http://media.oregonlive.com/runoregon/photo/9203536-large.jpg

At the end of this life, we will all receive the prize of eternal life if we "finish" and remain strong in our pursuit of righteousness and submission to God.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."

Having run 6 miles, I have almost completed half the final distance. The training plan just asks me to push it a little more each following week. I keep getting stretched. I have to be disciplined. I have to get up early, run, shower/get ready for the day by 6:30am so my husband can go to work (and I have to get the kids ready for school).
God doesn't ask more of me than is reasonable. I love the feeling of completing something I perceived impossible. I love the elation of looking back at something difficult and realizing that it's over and it did not defeat me. My faith is refined through fire and it gives me the ability to strengthen and encourage others in similar fires.

Godspeed to each of you as we set our eyes on the prize.
Philippians 3:12-14 "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³ Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

~Tammy

Closer to God

Remember that frustrating teaching Jesus shared about loving our enemies?
Today there was a revealing, an epiphany as I cleaned my kitchen.
*side note*
Something is soothing to me about my empty sink and cleared, germ-free countertops with the gentle (not exactly quiet) whooshing of my dishwasher. The stress that piles up is tucked away and dealt with.
*back to topic*

http://farm5.staticflickr.com/4116/4904433808_d3b3053c94_o.jpg

Why, why would he ask us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us?
We all have at least one person in our lives that battles us. Frustrates us. (you're thinking to yourself, "just one?")

Today I realized that God is never closer to us than when we are in trouble. When we are battling something that overwhelms us and seems as though it will never get better, we finally ask for help. Truly, with this outlook, I've realized that the "enemy" is actually a gift from God to drive us from our own strengths into the need for his ever-present help.

My middle daughter is God's biggest blessing to me. Through her, He is drawing me to Himself in a mighty way. There is more spiritually happening in me through our conflicts than in any other method or manner in my almost thirty-two years of life. He has placed her in my life with her specific gifts and strengths to bless me with a depth of relationship that the saints of old could only dream about.

http://www.proprofs.com/quiz-school/upload/yuiupload/1336774377.jpg

Whether or not I choose to accept his gift...ahh, there is the issue.
Paul stated in 2 Corinthians 4:8-10 (Amplified Bible),
"⁸ We are hedged in (pressed) on every side [troubled and oppressed in every way], but not cramped or crushed; we suffer embarrassments and are perplexed and unable to find a way out, but not driven to despair;

⁹ We are pursued (persecuted and hard driven), but not deserted [to stand alone]; we are struck down to the ground, but never struck out and destroyed;

¹⁰ Always carrying about in the body the liability and exposure to the same putting to death that the Lord Jesus suffered, so that the [^[a]resurrection] life of Jesus also may be shown forth by and in our bodies."

God has a special purpose for me in this world. In order to get me to the point where I'm usable, He has people in my life that I cannot escape. (for you it may be a fellow employee, a boss, a sibling or parent, or even your spouse) Those conflicts arise repeatedly. 

(Really? Again?! When will this ever end???!!!)

 

https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/p480x480/10987_10151724554527355_1136860320_n.jpg

A dear friend of mine recently shared with me how I could best pray on their behalf. "Pray for contentment." This friend has been at a job that has challenged and challenged and challenged. But truly, only God could have softened their heart in a way to yield and ask "not my will, but thine be done."
I am blessed with all my heart to see this transformation and am excited to see what these prayers avail! Will it mean a new job? The end of employment of the negative stressors? Salvation of those not-so-easy co-workers? Or? Will it mean simply that this job will no longer bring these negative thoughts about? Will this friend be content regardless of circumstances? This is a quality we all could pray for.

God wants to change us, not those around us. Though, we selfishly just want everyone else to change, ignoring our own shortcomings.
My daughter will now have a new description in my heart.
Lord, thank you for my middle daughter. You gave her to me to draw her closer to you. Of all the people in my life, she is the one that has brought about the most growth. She will be the one I am drawn to most as she ages and matures!

Rather than focusing on my trials, I'll quote James 1:2-4 (NIV).

^"2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

I hope that today you will reconsider your present circumstances and see those blessings around you. You will not only find it easier to deal with those people, but you will see God's hand in the midst of it.

~Tammy

Say What You Mean

It has been a frustrating couple of weeks in my house. It seems to be a pattern that I'm recognizing, now. Two years ago when we welcomed our youngest into our home, her older sisters regressed with the almost-4 year old biting her sister when frustrated or angry. Our current 4 year old is throwing 2 year old fits again. Every summer, mid-July, I think I'll just mark it on the calendar.

Our biggest regression that my husband and I detest is pottytraining regression.
*sigh* Somehow we have a fear in our minds that our children will NEVER outgrow this unpleasant behavior. The fear is unfounded, but presents itself again each time we have a mess to deal with. One child prefers the first type of mess, the other one, well, the other kind, naturally.

In all honesty, we go so long between the accidents (months at a time) that we've developed that position of "we're finally there!" "never again!" "yes! we did it!".

http://static.squarespace.com/static/51c219c8e4b0c2b46f4c86e9/51c65532e4b04154b9b3ce84/51c65b29e4b04154b9b46967/1371953961910/we-did-it.jpg?format=original

Our daughters are young. We forget that. One is not-quite 6, but will be soon. One just turned 4 and one just turned 2. We expect a lot of them, but it's because they're so capable.

When they are incessantly bickering and hurting each other, it's hot outside, and in general we're sleeping less because the sun's up later, we tend to parent in a louder tone of voice than is preferable for all of us.

http://www.janellelee.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/heatwave.jpg

This morning I made a pact with my 4 year old. No more yelling in our house. My vocal chords can't take it (I'm singing our National Anthem for a couple events this weekend) and it's hurting all our ears. Mostly though? It's just not working. She is my yeller. In fact, that's what is so silly. We are in some way so much alike that we are constantly butting heads. We're more physical than anyone else in our house. We get frustrated with each other and don't always communicate well. My other two are very verbal and we can usually talk it out.

It led me to think about what we say to others when we are upset. I am intentional about my words with my children, but in the past, I know I have said things that I didn't really mean.
It is much easier to lie to somebody than to state what is actually upsetting you.
If we were to look at what was really upsetting us, this is how it would sound out loud.

"I'm frustrated that you keep making the same mistake!"
"I wish I didn't get so upset by something silly like spilled milk!"
"I wish you would stop fighting with your sister because it makes me think I'm not a good parent!"
"I wish you would keep your clothes clean so we wouldn't have unsanitary messes in your clothes and on the floor!"
"I'm worried that kids won't like you if you keep doing this!"

"I'm yelling at you and your sister to stop because I'm tired and I really don't feel like coming all the way into your room to deal with it!"
"I'm lazy and selfish!" (ouch, right? But, so true.)

In the book of Psalms, there is a short prayer that has become my first sentence in the morning. I've had a couple weeks of not remembering to say it and that is why I'm typing all this today. We're going to remember and make a conscious effort. Is it work? Yes. Is it worthwhile? Yes. In the end will I be less mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically exhausted? I actually think that yes, I will, because I won't be depending on my mere mortal capability to handle the stresses life is throwing at me. I will be asking for help.

http://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/1368388468_why_god_why.jpg

"Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my guilt and iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me.

Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me."
Psalm 51:9-11

The "short" prayer is verse ten, the second line, but I wanted to give you the verses in context. Truly, we need that clean slate each day, don't we? And so do our kids. :)

~Tammy